Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Nats Theories on Life #1: Skinny Singaporeans

Each time I go to Singapore, I am astounded at how short the people are, and how strong the skinny arms are that are shoving me around. But, I have figured out the sad truth behind why Singaporeans are so skinny. Its very scientific, so it must be true:

Singaporeans live in Singapore (duh), which has a very hot and humid climate. This humid climate means that their bodies never crave water – they can just absorb it from the atmosphere. Hence, their bodies have adjusted, and never ever retain water.

However, in Sydney, we have a hot dry climate. Our bodies are ALWAYS craving water, and we have learnt to store it everywhere (back of our arms, thighs, tummy, side of face, neck rolls). We are always going to be fatter than the standard Singaporean.

Sad, but true.

7 Comments:

Blogger jaysun said...

Yes, Singaporean girls are skinny. However, while most are nice from far, they are far from nice.

And I believe the hot humid weather is rough on their skins, so acne is prevalent among them.

Maybe they are skinny because they walk from shopping mall to shopping mall on Orchard Road.

And your skinny scientific theory also extends to the guys. Most of them are twigs too.

And the ones that airn't are mainly gay.

Complusory national service doesn't incorporate weight training.

There are some truly outstanding individuals from Singapore... Such as Ah Beng.

But they're mostly originally from Malaysia.

Tue Feb 22, 09:39:00 PM

 
Blogger Tonee said...

And don't forget about the highly respected, scientifically and technically proven survey by reknown magazine 'FHM'. It indicates that Singaporean men have the second shortest dicks in the FHM world running a close second to Taiwanese.. Dion and Eric reckons that it is due to them that Singaporeans didnt come first!

Does water retention apply in this case too?

Wed Feb 23, 06:07:00 PM

 
Blogger jaysun said...

Tony,

I agree... when after you pang-jui your kukujiao gets a bit smaller...

Wed Feb 23, 08:24:00 PM

 
Blogger Bex said...

tonee - you ALWAY bring up that stupid survey. Does the humidity make your kukujiao shrivel?

I know a friend that used to be BIGGER than me and she went over to singapore for a few years and came back as thin as a singaporean!! I think it's a mental disease - some brainwashing government policy! And the reason the birth rate is so low is because they are too skinny to reproduce...

I also got question - if the climate in malaysia is similar to singapore why are the girls in malaysia bigger than the singaporeans?! Is it the food?!

Thu Feb 24, 01:24:00 PM

 
Blogger giveittomehardbigboy said...

The official reason for the skinniness is quite simple but cunningly executed.

The government through its social policy arm injects laxitives into all food products. This makes the people skinny as they have to pang sai more and therefore become more attractive to each other (lets face it, no one wants to be seen with a hippo).

Singaporeans will then be more attracted to each other and will start going out and eventually marrying and starting a family, thus fulfilling the government's social policy of getting people to hook up.

You will be more familiar with the more public face of this policy - the posters around singapore telling people to hook up. Dion & Eric would know all about it as they were used as models once.

Thu Feb 24, 03:04:00 PM

 
Blogger gnatski said...

hahaha... you guys are not far from wrong. Apparently the singaporean government has also introduced a "Keep Healthy" program. Basically all the fat kids in primary school have to go to extra PE classes after hours... My 11 yr old cousin is already obsessed about eating too much, and being too fat... sad...

Fri Feb 25, 02:32:00 PM

 
Blogger Tonee said...

Beck,

Yes Malaysian's are generally bigger than their lesser southern neighbours. Weather is only one of the few variables which affects the size of the population.

Special generational recipes and ingredients in the 'Penang' Char Kuay Teow, the 'Bangsar' roti chanai, 'SS2' Ais Kacang, 'Kajang' Satay has genetically enhanced the size of Malaysian women's busts and bums as well as the men's 'kukus'.

Sat Feb 26, 01:23:00 AM

 

Post a Comment

<< Home